Narayani Swenning

fly was buzzing around my house yesterday. I tried to capture it with Tupperware but it was not happening. Later Gus was trying to nip at it in the air as it was swooping up and down in the living room. I went to bed. This morning during my breath work practice, again there is the fly, rustling around the curtains at the window I sit at as my alter. “ I will let it out the front door here in a bit” I thought, “after my self healing work, me first, then you fly”. Buzz, buzz it kept alerting me it wanted out. My mind was irritated, not from the fly, but from the constant evaluating of my ex husbands life. Will he be happier, will he love better, will he miss me, come back some day, do I want him back (no), what would I do if he tried ( exciting thought), would it ever work, why would I want it to work ( I am happier now dummy, why am I thinking about this), why can’t I let go? And it goes on and on. So I ask my angels right there and then “God help me let go of wanting to control his outcome, help me wish him well and let go”. Breath of fire 15 more minutes, buzz, buzz, the fly demands. A couple minutes later I notice the fly is now outside. Well, wait, not outside, ( I lean in to look closer), he is in between the glass and the screen window. “10 minutes Fly” I say out loud, “then I will let you out”. As promised, I grab a close, small cup and lift the window up. The window is old and cranky and won’t latch so with one hand I hold the window and the other hand I cup the fly and carefully let the window down as I capture the fly in the cup with the other hand. I look quickly “yep he is in there” and move to the front porch. I set him down and he wiggles around (usual) but he doesn’t fly away. He is fine, I thought. Wait, is his wing broken? I pick him up and inspect his wing. It looks wonky but it is not broken. Did I crush him??? I don’t think I did. I weirdly panic. Wait…. Why is he not flying, why is he hurt? Maybe he is just playing dead. So I put him down. Watch. No movement except for some stiff leg attempts to show he is struggling. Ugh. This is not good. And I can’t probably talk about this, people will think I am a loony bird ( which at this point I believe). I go inside to get honey and my glasses. I look at him again. Hmmm he is fine, why is he dying? Finally, literally in tears, I put a dab of honey by him and go inside to do an online yoga class. After an hour it is final. He is dead. The wind had blown his little body into the honey and a tiny flower landed next to him on the porch. I took him inside to place him by the alter. As I prayed I heard a calming voice explain that I can let my ex go with the same kind of dignity and kindness, but not rushed, or abrupt I could accidentally wound him. He may look fine, he may look heathy but he may be dying inside. I can wish him well, like I did for this fly. I can . wish him to fly again, offer him honey when he seems weak. I can put him on the alter and thank him for the lesson. I can be as kind to my ex as I am to this fly. You all, I am not that sweet, so don’t make fun of me saying “she wouldn’t even hurt a fly” because I have been thinking evil thoughts for my ex. But, I hope today I can wish him to fly. I can let him be free and happy. He deserves that. We all do

Upcoming Classes

Thursday Aug 13, 2020 Class Price Instructor
12:00 - 1:00 pm Reserve Flow & Stretch -Virtual $12.00 Narayani Swenning
Thursday Aug 20, 2020 Class Price Instructor
12:00 - 1:00 pm Reserve Flow & Stretch -Virtual $12.00 Narayani Swenning
Thursday Aug 27, 2020 Class Price Instructor
12:00 - 1:00 pm Reserve Flow & Stretch -Virtual $12.00 Narayani Swenning
Thursday Sep 3, 2020 Class Price Instructor
12:00 - 1:00 pm Reserve Flow & Stretch -Virtual $12.00 Narayani Swenning
Thursday Sep 10, 2020 Class Price Instructor
12:00 - 1:00 pm Reserve Flow & Stretch -Virtual $12.00 Narayani Swenning
Thursday Sep 17, 2020 Class Price Instructor
12:00 - 1:00 pm Reserve Flow & Stretch -Virtual $12.00 Narayani Swenning
Thursday Sep 24, 2020 Class Price Instructor
12:00 - 1:00 pm Reserve Flow & Stretch -Virtual $12.00 Narayani Swenning