Drinking Diaries: it starts in the dark

it starts in the dark like a blind women feeling her way around an unfamiliar room. Uncertain, afraid, alone. The dark is dark. Attempting to use old sensory tools are ineffective. This territory is new, you are new. nothing is as it was. The only way to step forward is out of desperation. it must be the only option, exhausted other options to exhaustion. adhere to this option like the only oxygen left, otherwise the lights flip back on, the door closes, the well treaded paths reveal themselves instantly and there is a drink in your hand, in your gut, on your breath. it’s back. the nightmare continues.

Sobriety is a strange world, at first.

It’s not familiar.

It needs to be learned, felt, practiced, trusted like a violin.

You have never played a violin, nor held one.

Yet you pick it up and strum the strings eliciting a horrific sound and quickly put it down. Only when you seek help from practiced violin players do you get to playing, rough at first, but you play.

With an earnest desire, diligence and desperation the dark begins to bare light. the room you are knocking around becomes home. The violin starts to keep a tune. You are on the path, and the path is with you like the “Force”.

It’s worth it brother. Sister.

I swear on everything, all things, known and unknown. This is the truth.

It’s worth the blind staggering to find the LIGHT.

Go forth onto this strange new path, brave souls. find yourself there fully and finally.