Collection of Drinking Diaries

QUITTING DRINKING IS LIKE BREAKING UP WITH A LOVER. This guy is sexy, fun, silly, brings out something you love about you, exciting, crazy, eager to do shit, sometimes he is seems really interested in what you are saying, doing Etc.

Buuuuttt then there is this other, toxic, side. He makes you feel ashamed, depressed, ugly, he brings you down, he spends all your cash, he makes you late, or cancel, he makes you obsessed with him so you have a hard time concentrating on your own path, passion and purpose. 
So, you had a crazy (wild, maybe fun) night with him, but, then, get in a fight(usual), wake up with a black eye(not literally). (Follow me here.) SoooooYou are DONE!!! We are through!!! Never again. I am done with you! 
…..then around 5p.m he texts you… You’re, at first, like “no way”, but then a friend text you an encourages you to hang out with him again. Then he sends you a sext and you now in the grey. 
So, you go, hang out, with your GUARD UP but eventually he breaks you down and it is the same old story. Now, you wake up and feel even WORSE cuz you slept with that asshole again. and he is gone and he don’t love you and you hate yourself. 
But when you finally make that BREAK Up for good. The first couple weeks are very schizophrenic, you second guess yourself, “he wasn’t that bad”, you remember good times and good qualities about him, you forget how bad IT WAS, or how bad he made you feel about YOURSELF. So, you get soft. You want to call him when you are lonely, you want to invite him to that party you always took him to. So it’s AWkWArd when you go without him. (at first). 
It Is the same as a break up, you just have to keep going forward, away from him. Make new paths, do new things, Grow, ask for help,struggle, be sad sometimes, but keep going. You broke up because it wasn’t working for you and if you try again it will end up the same way. (you did enough research didn’t you?)